Obituary writers are happy to report that they never get morbid or melancholy when spending so much time writing about death because they don’t write about death, they write about life, the life of the deceased.
Better that you went to the memorial service and were't there first hand playing tennis that day to know what happened. You might stop playing tenni as a result. We want to remember the dearly departed as they were in life. How/why they died is important to the immediate family, and they know these details. It is not particularly useful to the legacy of the deceased for families to share "what happened" with outsiders in an obituary that they write. Furthermore, people reading about the circumstances of death may ask unwanted questions x however many people are asking, to the surviving family , who then have to rehash and relive these circumstances over and over. No one wants that. It interferes / prolongs the Kubler-Ross "acceptance" part of grieving. Public figures whose deaths are covered as news, more often discuss the circumstances of death a la Bourdain or Notorius RBG, or Natalie Wood, or Len Bias.
Better that you went to the memorial service and were't there first hand playing tennis that day to know what happened. You might stop playing tenni as a result. We want to remember the dearly departed as they were in life. How/why they died is important to the immediate family, and they know these details. It is not particularly useful to the legacy of the deceased for families to share "what happened" with outsiders in an obituary that they write. Furthermore, people reading about the circumstances of death may ask unwanted questions x however many people are asking, to the surviving family , who then have to rehash and relive these circumstances over and over. No one wants that. It interferes / prolongs the Kubler-Ross "acceptance" part of grieving. Public figures whose deaths are covered as news, more often discuss the circumstances of death a la Bourdain or Notorius RBG, or Natalie Wood, or Len Bias.